Just Another Disposable Commodity

In Canada, if you're not satisfied with the product that you bought or the service that you received, you have money-back guarantee subject to certain conditions. For instance, you can return a party dress you wore the night before to a party (provided you keep the tags), claiming that it didn't fit you right. (I know a lot of people doing this sooo shamelessly!) Or you can claim for the current week's sale price of an item you bought at regular price the week before provided your receipts are intact.

The overriding principle behind all of these, is that the buyer has the right to demand value for his money. And rightfully so. You pay for the services that you think you deserve and the products that give you quality.

Sadly though, this same mindset about "value for money, quality-consciousness" has been stretched to the point that it now transcends the value given to relationships, specifically marriage.

A couple enters into marriage with the same "contract" or "rights entitlement" mentality. They wed with certain expectations from each other. And when, in the course of the relationship, the expectations are not met, they have an easy solution.

Terminate the contract, otherwise termed as divorce.

Marriage is seen only as one of those disposable commodities.

"I'll scratch your back, and you scratch mine. Now that you can't scratch mine anymore, what's the point of continuing the relationship?"

"What we have is simply a legal contract, with each party having clear expectations from each other.

Easy way out. No strings attached. No need to work things out. No need to try harder or one more time.

Marriage is not seen as a covenant. God is out of the equation.

No wonder the children end up rebelling. Or drifting without a purpose. Or committing crimes at an early age. Or being left to the care of foster families. Or turning to drugs and crime. Or committing suicide.

Sad...



P.s. I am not condoning abusive relationships, especially in cases where women are on the losing end. What I am referring to here are ordinary cases of incompatibility and individual differences.

Goodbye 2

After a week of back-breaking strut with the broom, vacuum cleaner, shampooer and every available cleaning gadget to clean-up our apartment, we officially turned-over our home for the last 18 months to our landlord last Monday, August 31.

As we walked away from the apartment, a surprising twinge of sadness clutched my heart. I looked back and surveyed the place for the last time, lingering my gaze in the patio and I recognized the feeling for what it was. We were parting with something that had become so much a part of ourselves.

Our stay in the apartment was rather brief, but it was laden with the best memories that characterized our first year of living as immigrants in this country that welcomed us with open arms. After all, the apartment was our first home in Canada, a silent witness to our early days of struggle and coping. Its bare walls had seen days of extreme emotions in a gamut - from euphoria to excitement to anticipation to frustration to doubt to hope then back to the cycle again.

If it could speak, it would tell a beautiful story that blends courage, hope and faith amidst adversity, uncertainty, and worry. If it could write, it would fashion an amazing narration of events and milestones that would prove that we are exactly in the place where we ought to be.

But like a book whose chapters have ended, we have to close the book and move on. It's time to read a new book.

Goodbye

Although I no longer reside in the Philippines and have considered Canada my new home now, I continue to be in touched with the events in the Philippines. I scan the daily papers for the latest news, thanks to the internet. I still cringe when I hear corruption in the government, crimes committed in broad daylight, politicking in unimaginable places, poverty-stricken families. I monitor the latest about the business honchos and showbiz personalities. I keep in touch with relatives and friends and officemates who will always be a part of who I am now.

Yes, Virginia – I will always be a Filipino at heart.

Today, I join the rest of the Filipino nation as it mourns the loss of former President Corazon Aquino, considered an icon of democracy, for sweeping away a dictator with a “people power” revolt. As if that was not enough, she sustained democracy by fighting off seven coup attempts in six years of her rule.

While I have not always agreed with her political leadership, I have the highest respect for this woman who changed the course of our nation's history. I was a college freshman – an age characterized by idealism and rebellion - when she was catapulted to office. For the generation I belonged with at that time, she represented hope in a country rocked by hopelessness and apathy. She helped restore our faith in the democratic institutions.

Come to think of it, our deepest dreams and aspirations for a better tomorrow somehow became intricately intertwined with her destiny.

As it turned out, she struggled in office to meet high public expectations, including our generation’s. Consider her land redistribution program which fell short of ending economic domination by the landed elite, including her own family. Add to this her indecisive leadership, especially in social and economic reforms which did not really trickle down to the benefit of the “masa”. And it was probably because she lacked the political experience and the self-confidence to take up the fight to restore democracy on her own.

But if there’s anything that she should be credited for, it was her resoluteness to remove all vestiges of an entrenched dictatorship. She gave us back what was taken from us – the freedom and the voice to determine the course of the nation the way we wanted it to. She may not have been the ideal president, but who is? Even today, can we really find a much better alternative to her?

Goodbye, Tita Cory. Where you are today, I know you are at peace – with yourself and with your Creator, for not turning your back to the destiny that God had designed for you.