Life's Roads

Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church and author of the famous "Purpose-Driven Life" book that raked in millions and instantly made him wealthy, is one of the few persons who affected my faith in a most profound way.

A few days ago, I learned that his wife, Kay is dying of cancer. Although they did not know me personally, my heart went out to them in this most trying moment of their life. But I need not worry, because Rick knows just what to do in times like this - becoming steadfast in his faith in God, both in living and in dying.

Here is a transcript of the absolutely incredible short interview by Paul Bradshaw with this man of great faith. After reading it, I realized how amateur and small my faith is compared to his. His is a mountain, mine is a mustard seed.

"People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity.. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life.

The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the Church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.

That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.

Every moment, THANK GOD."

Leaving

I felt something different when I walked into the office last Monday morning. The usual “hi, how are you” greetings and morning chuckles from my officemates were conspicuously absent. Over in the corner of the room, I saw the HR director in a close huddle with two other managers, intently talking to each other in hushed tones.

In the hallway, I met two colleagues who seemed so self-absorbed that they didn’t even bother to return my hello. I think I also saw something in their eyes – was it grief or sadness – I wasn’t exactly sure.

Did I do something wrong – I asked myself. My mind raced back to the events last Friday. To the best of my recollection, I could not think of anything I have done that could have caused their indifference.

A few minutes later, I was able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I understood. They were grieving for the loss of a dearly-beloved colleague of 15 years who succumbed to death due to heart attack right inside the Office at 5:00 PM last Friday.

His name was Bryan and he was in his 50s, a father of two teen-age daughters and a faithful husband. I didn’t know him personally, but from what I’ve heard, he seemed to be a very jolly person, putting a smile in everybody’s face with his wacky humor. He was a health buff, they say, hitting the gym everyday and forever conscious of his diet.

And so for the entire day last Monday, the world seemed to have stood still for the employees of MPI as everybody mourned the passing of Bryan.

Every time I hear stories of death or witness the death of somebody, my heart goes out to the family of the departed. I know how it feels. I’ve been there. But one doesn’t have to go through this painful experience to feel the pain of losing a loved one. Death permanently cuts off our physical and emotional ties with our loved ones, without any hope of being able to see them again, talk to them, touch them, embrace them. And this is quite hard to accept.

The only consolation, the only source of strength and comfort for the grieving, is the belief that somebody, she or he will be reunited with his loved one in eternity. In a different realm where there is no longer pain and suffering and death. Where there is only pure love and pure joy.

That is, if the grieving person believes.

If he doesn’t believe, death will never make sense.

Sixteen years, and counting

January 9, 1993. I made a decision that would change my life forever. I married my ex-boyfriend now husband and best buddy.

For the last sixteen years, we have managed to stick together without killing each other (lol) save for body bruises and sprains here and there (courtesy of me, lol).

Kidding aside, today is the time to count the many ways why it was easy for me to overlook his shortcomings and to acknowledge how blessed I am to have him as my lifetime partner:

• He has been faithful to me all these years (at least as far as my knowledge goes lol). I completely trust him in the company of girls (although not completely in the company of boys lol again).

• He trusts me with family finances. He never asks for accounting. He is more concerned with the time I spend on shopping than with the amount of money I spend. What is funny is that the more he trusts me, the more I become conscientious about spending.

• He is not very expressive of his feelings for me. But what he lacks in words he compensates in action. His language of love is time and service. He does things in the house like laundering, cooking, dish washing, house cleaning and runs errands for me that I’m tempted to call him my runner (lol).

• He easily learns his lessons and takes it to heart. For instance, during our first years of marriage, he wreaked the hood of our car because of drunkenness (thank God he wasn’t hurt). He never drunk again since then.

• He covers up for me especially when I am overboard. He invents excuses and alibi so as not to put me in bad light before the eyes of other people.

• When our babies were born, he would get up late in the night to feed the baby or change diapers so I don’t have to lose my sleep.

• He snores so loud in sleep (imagine the sound of a helicopter lol). As a considerate act, he ensures that I get to sleep first before he sleeps.

And the list is endless.

Best of all, he taught me that marriage is a good excuse to grow up and think less of myself.

Of course, we also had our share of fights and struggles. But what I learned over the years is that fighting is healthy in any relationship provided you know how to do it. There is also no such thing as a perfect relationship precisely because the persons who compose it are imperfect. When things go wrong - when his ugly side looms large – I always go back to my list of reasons why I am blessed to have him. And when I do, the ugly side shrinks so small in comparison to the reasons why I love him.

If I can bring back the hands of time and be given the chance to choose the man I would marry, I would choose him over and over again.